Harry's Diary
by zan189
Summary: Harry has accidentally taken a love potion, now he's desperately in love with Snape. His friends try and make an antidote to release him from his 'sufferings'. Transl. of 'Harrys Tagebuch'. OneShot. Please R&R!


**Harry's Diary**

Hermione's fighting with Ron. Again.

Great.

It's kind of annoying that every time both of them come to me for comfort, and I have to negotiate. I don't even stand a chance against Hermione because she never lets me finish my sentence, when I try to suggest something. And all Ron says is 'Women!' to whatever arguments I give in order to make him realize how Hermione must feel like, and how she might think. Oh well, what can I do? Last time I was in love it got pretty complicated, too, what with Cho and her constant whining about Cedric, and I didn't even know what she actually wanted. Meanwhile I concluded that she can't have loved him all that much, but that she was his girlfriend because he was popular and good-looking. But when she was with me she pretended to be all hurt, only because she wanted to make me jealous. How sick is that? A boy who's been KILLED a couple of months ago, and she uses his death for foolish games!

Women!

Okay, not all of them are like that. Luna for instance is quite nice and I even think she's really cute. First I felt kind of embarrassed of her because she's so weird, yet somehow I have realized that it's not about looks or popularity, but whether or not it's a good person. Luna is definitely nice. Same for Ginny and Neville. I think, between those two something's going on. Neville is certain that he fails in everything and is a downright loser. When he talks like that about himself, Ginny literally vapours just like her mother and cuts him down. Then he ducks a little and gives her a very Ron's father-like look when the latter looks at Mrs. Weasley.

Man, why can't I have parents like these? The most charming thing about them is that they are bickering all the time. Just like Ron and Hermione. Even though I think Hermione is sometimes too hard on Ron, but that might just be because he doesn't come round and tells her that he loves her. I bet Hermione would be quite different if the two of them would finally get together. Of course, she'd still roll her eyes and say 'Ron!' in an exasperated manner whenever he's talking nonsense. Otherwise she wouldn't be herself anymore. Still I believe that she'd not really be annoyed, also she would realize that half the times he provokes her because he thinks it's dinky when she swells like a hen to lecture us on the rights of house elves.

I just wonder if Ron and Hermione's children will end up having red hair, too. Most likely yes. And maybe I will then have a son or daughter that I can set up with one of the Weasleys! Then finally I would be a real member of the family, as father-in-law, and all my grandchildren would have red hair. I'd like that. I like red hair.

On the other hand… maybe I will never have children. Maybe I will never marry! Yesterday in Potions, Neville screwed up a draught (do tell!) and I got the full blast, toppled over the back of my seat and passed out. It was supposed to be a cough syrup, against hay fever, but Neville somehow created a strong love potion that makes you fall in love with the first person/ thing you see and love them for the rest of your life. In my case this, unfortunately, was Snape. You will hardly believe me when I tell you that every time I think of him (like now) a stupid grin spreads across my face. Also, I don't even think his hair looks greasy anymore. Well, actually it does, but suddenly instead of turning away in disgust this rather inspires me to fantasize about me washing Snape's hair myself…

Sorry, just had to take a cold shower.

So what am I supposed to do now? I can't tell any of my friends since they are fighting right now. In which case all they can think of is either point out the other's every single mistake since first grade, or snort scornfully. I will ask Ginny for maybe she can get out of Neville in which order he put the ingredients, and if he's left out some or added new.

I wonder if Snape loves me, too.

What rubbish do I write? And where do all the pink hearts on my parchment come from?

Of course Severus does not love me, quite the contrary. He's hated me since first grade. However, I did once read in a novel (was something about pride) how some man was really mean to a girl, but really he was in love with her secretly. So maybe in our case it's just like that?

No! I have to rid myself of these wishful thoughts and stick to reality: Severus cannot stand me. Sigh!

But if he does? Will he ever marry me, I mean, when I'm all finished school and everything. Right now it would not be possible as I'm his ward. What would I give for a tiny detention with him. He could make me scrub cauldrons in his classroom and I would be close to him… I noticed that he smells wonderful. Actually not like anything much, but when he bent over me to see if I was alright (he had this gorgeous 'I am very much annoyed!'-look in his face) I smelled him. It caused me to come back to my senses. As I opened my eyes, he was so close his nose was almost inside my mouth. That's when I was lost forever. His breath tickled my face and I really wished, right there and then, to…

This time I shaved, too.

I met Ginny in the common room and told her about my problem. I don't see why I should be Severus Snape's slave for the rest of my life. He might just chain me and I'd have to serve him.

Oh dammit, if I continue like this I will catch a cold!

Anyway, Ginny laughed at me from the bottom of her heart, but promised me to get to Neville. Hermione and Ron are nowhere to be seen; I will try and find them so as to tell them, too. They might come in handy to detain myself from snogging my sweet teddy bear like a wild maniac if he shouts out his contemptible 'Potter!' in this sensual way. Oh, gotta go!

My skin is all red from the water. What ever could I do?

I will just go find Ron and Hermione, while thinking of extraneous things such as Arithmancy, the Dursleys (argh! turning off!)

DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS DURSLEYS

Gee! This was embarrassing! I encountered the man of my sleepless nights (since yesterday) in the hallway, as I was dursleying my way to find my two best friends, and he took off five points from my house for noise pollution. When I didn't stop – I didn't want to drift away in fantasies he would have clearly noticed – he chased me (I wish!) to the dungeons (don't you usually get chained and gagged in dungeons, so that horny beasts can do with you what pleases them? Shit, I can't take a shower here!). Then, as punishment for my impertinent behaviour (and his eyes did sparkle so and I've always loved that… what am I thinking? Always? Ha, this is merely the influence of the potion; I used to hate my muffin!) he ordered me to re-paint the walls. In the whole entire dungeons. Oh how I just love him! He's so inventive when it comes to punishing!

Ginny, Neville, Ron and Hermione just came. Ginny told everyone everything, Hermione has done a ton of research in the library already, Neville remembers all the ingredients and the exact order, and Ron presented Hermione with a perfume for conciliation. They are holding hands. I'm supposed to keep a lookout here (and keep painting, as my lord and master has ordered) while the other four are preparing an antidote in the classroom. In case my heart's desire shows up I have to distract him.

It worked!

Ginny, Hermione, Ron and Neville worked out an antidote, while I was busy distracting my dearest professor in the nicest way. I think he's not eaten anything but pineapple for the past weeks… My friends were indeed a little shocked to find him and me like that, but they promised to not tell anyone. Sev told me that if we can keep our love a secret from all the others, we might as well be together, and when I turn 18 (at the end of my school career) we even want to marry!

Isn't that exciting? We also want to adopt a couple of children. In any case I want our son to be called James! But he taunts me all the time and says he'd rather have Gaylord. But I will get my way with my darling!

When Hermione sprayed the antidote on me, my only love wanted to know what the heck was going on. So I explained that I had been under a love spell and am now rid of it, while I was playfully nibbling his ear. When Neville told him what he had done wrong with the potion the day before, the hottest man on earth said: 'But if you exchange potato skins with dried figs in this recipe, nothing else happens than that the potion won't be a cough syrup, but a pain killer!' At that very moment I actually FELT the pain in my back from the fall yesterday.


End file.
